“I Have No Idea What I’m Doing." A Love Letter to Imposter Syndrome
- Griffin Oakley
- Aug 5
- 5 min read
Let's be real.
If you've ever thought “Any second now, everyone’s going to figure out I have no idea what I’m doing”—welcome. You might have imposter syndrome. Or as I like to call it: that fun little brain parasite that shows up uninvited when you’re finally doing something right.
Maybe you’ve just started a new job. Or got accepted into grad school. Or someone—God forbid—gave you a compliment. Cue the panic spiral: “Oh no They think I’m competent. This will not end well.”
Sound familiar?
Imposter syndrome isn’t a diagnosis. It’s more like that clingy ex who keeps texting you "just to check in" every time you level up. It’s part insecurity, part perfectionism, and part ancient brain wiring from the days when not being liked meant you got left behind by the tribe and eaten by a saber-toothed tiger.
Who Gets Imposter Syndrome?
Short answer: Almost everyone.
Longer answer: Especially people who are high-achieving, thoughtful, creative, perfectionistic, people-pleasing, overcompensating, neurodivergent, or. . . raised by wolves. (Okay not wolves exactly—maybe emotionally unavailable parents, critical caregivers, or trauma of some kind. )
You might be surprised to learn that some of the most successful people on the planet deal with this.
Barbara Corcoran? Yep. She built a real estate empire and still says she thinks someone’s going to find out she’s a fraud.
Michelle Obama? She’s literally Michelle Obama and still wondered if she was good enough when she got to Princeton.
Maya Angelou? She wrote I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and still said, “I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”
Let that sink in: Maya. Freaking. Angelou.
If she felt like an imposter sometimes, what chance do the rest of us have?
Signs You Might Be Wrestling With the Imposter Monster
Imposter syndrome doesn’t always come in loud like a diva. Sometimes it’s sneaky, like a raccoon in your attic. Look out for:
You overwork everything because “If I just do it perfectly, no one will notice I’m a fraud.”
You procrastinate because “If I never finish it, I can’t be judged for doing it wrong.”
You dismiss praise with “I just got lucky,” “It wasn’t that big a deal,” or “Anyone could have done it.”
You don’t apply for the job, the scholarship, the thing—because someone better surely will.
You feel like you’re faking it even when you’re actually doing the thing very well.
It’s like your brain is running a con on yourself. And the worst part? You believe it.
Why It Happens (Spoiler: It’s Not Because You Suck)
Imposter syndrome thrives in environments that reward perfection and punish vulnerability. Think about it:
If you grew up hearing “Why isn’t this an A+?” or “Don’t get too full of yourself,” imposter syndrome probably moved in early and set up a shrine.
If you’re part of a marginalized group—LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, BIPOC, disabled—existing in systems not built for you can make you feel like an outsider even when you’re overqualified.
If you’re a trauma survivor or living with CPTSD, feeling “not enough” may be your default programming. And you’re not broken—you were just trained to doubt yourself to stay safe.
So when good things happen? Your brain goes: “This must be a mistake. Prepare for doom. ”
How It Affects Your Life
Relationships: You struggle to believe people love the real you. So you overgive, over-apologize, or pull away before they get too close.
Work and school: You either burn yourself out trying to be flawless or freeze entirely because you’re terrified of messing up.
Decision-making: You become the CEO of Analysis Paralysis™. Every choice feels like a trap. What if you pick wrong? What if you fail? What if someone finds out you don’t know what you’re doing?!?
So you wait. You tweak. You rewrite. You Google “how to be a functional adult” for the 83rd time.
And the worst part? The longer you wait, the more it feels like proof that you don’t have what it takes.
It’s a self-fulfilling disaster spiral in a blazer.
A Word About Perfectionism
Let’s clear something up:Perfectionism is not a virtue. It’s fear in a sparkly outfit.
Sure, it might look good on paper. But perfectionism keeps you from living. It whispers that mistakes are proof you’re unworthy. That if you’re not exceptional, you’re nothing. That joy is earned through suffering.
But perfection isn’t just unattainable—it’s boring. Imagine a world where no one ever stumbled, stuttered, or failed. No Bob Ross happy accidents. No ridiculous typos that turned into brilliant jokes. No Beyoncé falling on stage and getting right back up like the legend she is.
We love people because they’re real—not perfect. Why not offer yourself the same grace?
Everyone Feels Like an Imposter. Some Just Don’t Let It Win.
That’s the trick. People who seem confident aren’t necessarily free from imposter syndrome. They’ve just stopped believing every crappy thing their brain tells them.
Because here’s the thing: Feeling like an imposter is normal. Feeding it is optional.
How to Shut Down the Imposter Voice (Or at Least Turn the Volume Down)
Name it out loud. “Oh, hey, that’s imposter syndrome again.” Just saying it can break the trance.
Practice ‘good enough.’ Not everything needs to be a masterpiece. Done > perfect.
Keep a brag file. Save screenshots of compliments, accomplishments, kind words. Read them on the bad days.
Let people love you. Let them see the real you. The messy, beautiful, sometimes-tired, fully human version.
Ask: Who benefits from me feeling small? Usually, it’s the systems that profit from your silence, your burnout, or your free labor.
Learn to laugh at it. Humor disarms shame. Talk back to your imposter voice like you would a pushy telemarketer.
Final Thoughts (Before Your Brain Tries to Overanalyze This Too)
If you feel like a fraud, it probably means you’re growing. Stretching. Moving outside your comfort zone. It means you care about doing well. It means you’re human.
And honestly? The people I trust the most—the ones doing the most meaningful work—are the ones who still question themselves. It keeps them humble, curious, and kind. The problem is never that you feel it. The problem is when you let it run the show.
So go ahead. Apply for the thing. Submit the essay. Launch the project. Call your therapist (hi!). Do it scared. Do it imperfectly.
Do it as you are.
You’re not an imposter. You’re just a human in progress—and that’s exactly who the world needs.
If you want support…
Curious Mind Counseling helps adults navigate imposter syndrome, trauma, perfectionism, and self-worth with humor, heart, and real tools for healing. We’re here for the deep stuff and the awkward in-between. 🌐 www.curiousmindcounseling.com 📞 971-365-3642 ✉️ griffin@curiousmindcounseling.com
