Attachment patterns form early. Long before you had words for what was happening, your nervous system was learning whether relationships were safe, whether your needs would be met, whether it was okay to get close to people. Those early lessons don't stay in childhood — they follow you into every relationship you have as an adult.
Where it comes from
Attachment theory is one of the most well-researched frameworks in psychology. It tells us that the way we bonded with caregivers as children directly shapes how we relate to partners, friends, colleagues, and even ourselves. Anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment — these aren't character flaws. They're adaptations. They made sense once. The work is figuring out how to update them.
Signs attachment work might be right for you
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You keep ending up in the same relationship dynamics no matter who you're with
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Closeness feels threatening — either you need too much of it or you push it away
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Fear of abandonment drives decisions you later regret
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You struggle to trust people even when they've given you no reason not to
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You feel suffocated by intimacy or panicked by distance
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Your relationships with family of origin are still running your life
Therapeutic approaches
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Attachment theory — the foundation of the work; understanding your style and where it came from
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ACT — building psychological flexibility in how you show up in relationships
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CBT — identifying the beliefs about relationships that are keeping you stuck
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DBT — interpersonal effectiveness skills and emotional regulation in close relationships
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Parts work — working with the parts of you that protect against intimacy or drive anxious behavior
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Polyvagal-informed — understanding how your nervous system responds to closeness and threat
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Window of tolerance — building capacity to stay regulated in emotionally charged relationships
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SFBT — focusing on what secure connection could look like for you specifically
Attachment is my specialty, not a side offering
I've worked with attachment wounds extensively — in clients navigating complex trauma, family of origin issues, and relationships that keep going sideways in the same familiar ways. This isn't something I dabble in. It's central to almost everything I do clinically.
If you're ready to understand why you connect the way you do — and do something about it — reach out. Free consultation, no commitment. We'll see if we're a good fit.
Take the first step
If you're ready to understand why you connect the way you do — and actually change it — I'm here. Free consultation, no commitment. Let's see if we're a good fit.
