top of page
Search

Living with Bipolar Disorder

Updated: Jul 11

I work with a lot of people navigating the emotional ups and downs of bipolar disorder. If you're reading this, you might be wondering what's really going on with your moods. Or maybe someone you care about has been diagnosed, and you're trying to make sense of it all. Either way, you're not alone.


Bipolar disorder is complex. But with the right support (trauma-informed therapy, specialized psychiatric care, and a real community), stability is possible.


A middle-aged man in a tan coat sits on a pale sofa, leaning forward with his hands pressed together against his face — the weight of living with bipolar disorder.

What Is Bipolar Disorder?


Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes noticeable shifts in mood, energy, and activity levels. These shifts go beyond the everyday highs and lows—we're talking about emotional states that can seriously impact work, relationships, and daily functioning.

There are a few different types:


  • Bipolar I involves full manic episodes that may last a week or longer, often followed by deep depressions. Sometimes mania is so intense it leads to hospitalization.


  • Bipolar II includes hypomanic episodes (a milder version of mania) and depressive episodes that dominate the long-term course.


  • Cyclothymia is a milder, ongoing pattern of emotional ups and downs that don't quite meet full criteria for hypomania or depression but still cause distress and disruption.



Mania vs. Hypomania: What’s the Difference?


Both involve feeling energized or “up,” but mania is more extreme. It can look like racing thoughts, impulsive decisions, not sleeping for days, or feeling invincible. Hypomania feels similar but tends to be shorter and less intense—you might still be able to function, but something feels off.

People often miss or even enjoy hypomanic episodes because they can come with bursts of creativity or productivity. But without treatment, hypomania can spiral into mania or crash into depression.


Depression in Bipolar Disorder


The lows of bipolar disorder are real and painful. Depression might show up as exhaustion, hopelessness, a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, or thoughts of suicide. Most people with bipolar disorder spend far more time depressed than manic, and that's usually what brings someone to therapy in the first place. Not the mania. The weight that comes after.


It’s Not Your Fault—and You Deserve Help


Bipolar disorder is not caused by personality flaws, bad parenting, or lack of willpower. It comes from a mix of things: genetics, which carry real weight, brain chemistry, and what you've lived through. Childhood adversity turns up more often in the histories of people with bipolar disorder than chance would explain. That's an association, not a verdict on your family. But it's why trauma belongs in the conversation. What matters now is how you take care of yourself going forward.


That often starts with finding the right team: a trauma-informed therapist who understands bipolar disorder, and a psychiatric prescriber who can support with medication when needed. I provide therapy focused on emotional regulation, trauma recovery, and self-awareness. I also collaborate closely with outside prescribers who specialize in mental health and know this territory.


Why Medication Matters


Let's be honest—medication for bipolar disorder can feel like a big decision. But staying on it is what makes the rest of the work possible. Medications help stabilize mood swings and make room for therapy to work. Stopping suddenly is the risk, especially during a "feel-good" phase, when quitting feels most reasonable. Coming off abruptly can push relapse rates higher than the untreated illness would. The crash isn't proof you never needed the medication. It's often proof you did.


Think of medication as a tool, not a crutch. And if side effects are getting in your way, talk to your prescriber. You deserve to feel better without sacrificing your quality of life.


A young woman in a green sweater sits against a white brick wall with her knees drawn up and a tissue box beside her, resting her hand against her mouth and looking away — weighing the decision to stay on medication.

The Risks of Alcohol and Other Substances


Alcohol and drugs can seriously mess with bipolar symptoms and make it harder to recover. They can trigger manic or depressive episodes, interfere with meds, and blur your read on what's actually happening. And it's common: lifetime rates of substance use disorder in bipolar disorder run around one in three. Often it starts as a way to cope. That's not a character flaw. That's someone reaching for the nearest thing that works.


If you're struggling with this, you're not broken. You're human. There is help, and you don't have to earn it.


Differences Between Men and Women


Bipolar disorder shows up across every gender, but it doesn't always show up the same way:




Worth naming what the research doesn't show: no consistent difference between men and women in how much depression they carry, or in how early the illness starts. Both are common assumptions. Neither holds up.


These differences don't change the core of the disorder. They do change what good care looks like for you.

For Loved Ones: This Is Hard for You Too


A woman sits alone on a hallway floor with her back against the wall and her knees drawn up, one hand at her head, an open doorway beside her — the toll on the people who love someone with bipolar disorder.

Watching someone you love ride this out is brutal. You might feel helpless, exhausted, or confused. That's not weakness. That's the cost of caring about someone in pain.


Education, therapy, and support groups help you stay connected without burning out. They also do something people don't expect: when the people around someone with bipolar disorder get support, the person themselves relapses less. Boundaries aren't abandonment. And you don't have to carry this by yourself.


Signs It Might Be Time to Seek Help


If any of these sound familiar, therapy and evaluation could be a meaningful next step:


  • Mood swings that feel extreme or hard to control

  • Periods of little sleep but high energy

  • Feeling on top of the world—or like the world’s caving in

  • Impulsive decisions, especially around money, sex, or safety

  • Feeling hopeless, flat, or deeply sad

  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

You deserve support. And there’s no shame in reaching out.


Local Resources for Support

Portland, Oregon:


  • NAMI Multnomah – Free, drop-in peer support groups for adults

  • DBSA Portland – Peer-led meetings for bipolar and depression support

Tampa, Florida:


  • DBS Tampa Bay – Free weekly groups for individuals and loved ones, since 1985

National:


You’re Not Alone


Close-up of hands on chest wearing a white shirt, evoking a calm, introspective mood. Background is softly blurred.

If you're living with bipolar disorder, or loving someone who is, please know this: there is a path forward. You are not broken. You are not too much. With the right tools, treatment, and support, life can become manageable again. Even joyful.


I’m here to walk with you. 



Griffin Oakley, MS, NCC, LMHC, LPC

Founder & Therapist, Curious Mind Counseling

📞 971-365-3642


About the Author


Griffin is a licensed telehealth therapist and the founder of Curious Mind Counseling, serving Oregon and Florida. His work focuses on complex trauma, attachment, and identity — including the work of building a stable life around a diagnosis that doesn't go away, and learning to trust your own read on your moods again.


References


Craddock, N., & Sklar, P. (2013). Genetics of bipolar disorder. The Lancet, 381(9878), 1654–1662. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(13)60855-7


Diflorio, A., & Jones, I. (2010). Is sex important? Gender differences in bipolar disorder. International Review of Psychiatry, 22(5), 437–452. https://doi.org/10.3109/09540261.2010.514601


Hunt, G. E., Malhi, G. S., Cleary, M., Lai, H. M. X., & Sitharthan, T. (2016). Comorbidity of bipolar and substance use disorders in national surveys of general populations, 1990–2015: Systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 206, 321–330. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2016.06.051


Judd, L. L., Akiskal, H. S., Schettler, P. J., Endicott, J., Maser, J., Solomon, D. A., Leon, A. C., Rice, J. A., & Keller, M. B. (2002). The long-term natural history of the weekly symptomatic status of bipolar I disorder. Archives of General Psychiatry, 59(6), 530–537. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.59.6.530


Judd, L. L., Akiskal, H. S., Schettler, P. J., Coryell, W., Maser, J., Rice, J. A., Solomon, D. A., & Keller, M. B. (2003). A prospective investigation of the natural history of the long-term weekly symptomatic status of bipolar II disorder. Archives of General Psychiatry, 60(3), 261–269. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.60.3.261


Luciano, M., Sampogna, G., Del Vecchio, V., Giallonardo, V., Di Cerbo, A., Palummo, C., Malangone, C., Lampis, D., Veltro, F., Bardicchia, F., Ciampini, G., Orlandi, E., Moroni, A., Biondi, S., Piselli, M., Menculini, G., Nicolò, G., Pompili, E., Carrà, G., & Fiorillo, A. (2022). Medium and long-term efficacy of psychoeducational family intervention for bipolar I disorder: Results from a real-world, multicentric study. Bipolar Disorders, 24(6), 647–657. https://doi.org/10.1111/bdi.13182


Palmier-Claus, J. E., Berry, K., Bucci, S., Mansell, W., & Varese, F. (2016). Relationship between childhood adversity and bipolar affective disorder: Systematic review and meta-analysis. British Journal of Psychiatry, 209(6), 454–459. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.115.179655


Suppes, T., Baldessarini, R. J., Faedda, G. L., & Tohen, M. (1991). Risk of recurrence following discontinuation of lithium treatment in bipolar disorder. Archives of General Psychiatry, 48(12), 1082–1088. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.1991.01810360046007

bottom of page